I never realized how closed off I was until I became a mother. C has opened up my world. Sometimes, I go into his room at night just him to watch him sleep. He has been with us a month now, and I feel as if he has found a home, in my heart.
I haven't written about him before today, because I needed to keep him close to me. I have never been happier or so terrified in my life.
Every Wednesday, when the white van comes to take him to see her, my heart falls into my stomach, and doesn't resurface until they bring him back to me. When he calls me Mommy, my heart feels like it will break. In his laughter, I hear the tinkling of bells. He's my faerie child with his ocean eyes.
1 comment:
After seeing all of you together last week, there is no question in my mind that you are a family. There's already a cohesion there and it all looked so natural, as if he had been yours since he was born. Hopefully by the end of the month, there will be the resolution that the faerie child will have to attend the court of the evil witch. He will be yours. You are now experiencing many of the true joys and pain of motherhood. The hardest part is how to keep your child close to your heart, and at the same time preparing them for the world where they can be independent. That's the hardest balancing act in the world to do.
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