Your Birthdate: December 17

You tend to find yourself lucky - both in business and in life. And while being wealthy is nice, you enjoy sharing your abundance with others. You put your luck to good use: you are very ambitious and goal oriented. Often times, you get over excited and take on more than you can manage. Your strength: Your ability to make your own luck Your weakness: Thinking you can do it all Your power color: Bronze Your power symbol: Half Moon Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Right now, I feel like screaming

 Yesterday, I had my third no interview interview for the position I wanted. Turns out what that was this psychological test about my teaching personality. I spent  an hour and a half answering questions about my teaching methods, my personality, and a whole host of blather that to mean nothing. I have no clue as to when I will hear from them as to whether or not they are hiring me.

I have another interview at another school in DE.

Meanwhile, the computer system at school has kicked me out again so my pay this Friday will be HALF of what it should be, and no new time sheets have been issued so I may not get paid next pay day.

 

Mother Issues, Job Issues

My mother was visiting us this week as she was on her way back to Outcalt to check on her house. With all the rain we have had she was worried about it. She was supposed to have surgery last week to re-replace her hip. (The first time the hip was for someone my height not her height. So she is running aroun with one leg two inches longer than the other.)Her blood pressure was in the stroke range, so they couldn't do it. They even gave her Xanax, which knocked her out, but did zip for her BP. She has been recscheduled for the 25th.

She is the kick again about buying a house near me. So, when she comes back this way next week she wants to start looking at houses in my town. She wants to buy here and then sell my grandparent's old summer house in Outcalt- The last piece that ties me to Middlesex County.

C has his surgery tomorrow. We have to report to the clinic at 6:30 AM, and this is for my little night owl, who is grouchybutt at 7:30 AM, no less having to wake up to no breakfast at 5:00.

It's been two weeks yesterday since I had the back to back interviews for teaching positions in Wilmington. The one I wanted called me yesterday to ask me to come in for another interview on Tuesday morning. I was told to bring nothing except my "sunny personality". I know they were looking for a new Head of School, so this may mean they have found one and are seeking his/her approval of me.

The Movie of My Life

Opening Credits: " Radio" by The Corrs

Waking Up: "Promnight in Pigtown" By John Gorka

Falling in Love: "Love and Anger" by Kate Bush

Fight scene: "Hope and Memory" by Howard Shore from "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King"

Breaking up: "It's Alright (Baby's Coming Back)" by The Eurythmics

Getting back together: "Out of the Frying Pan (And into the Fire)" by Meat Loaf

Secret Love: "All I Want Is You" by U2

Life's okay: "I Drove All Night" by Roy Orbison

Mental breakdown: "Erbarme Dich (Matthaus-Passion) , BWV 244" by J.S. Bach

Driving Flashback: "Live & Let Die" by Guns n' Roses

 

Partying: "White Room" by Cream

Happy dance: "C is for Cookie" by Cookie Monster

Regretting: "Strange Times" by Moody Blues

Long night alone: "Goodbye Blue Sky" by Pink Floyd

Final Battle: "Rollout (My Business)" by Ludacris

Death scene: "If God Will Send His Angels" by U2

End credits: "Blinded By the Light" by Bruce Springsteen

Maybe I do want to save the world

When I first saw him, he had what looked like a pacifer dangling out of his mouth. It wasn't a pacifier. It was a mint sandwich cookie. His worker must have fed him an entire bag. He wasn't hyper. He just wanted to be snuggled until after dinner when everything, including the cookies, came back up for a second viewing. The worker said that we were only for the weekend and that would be that. So we told see that this was just a friend for him for the weekend.

He played well with C all weekend.  They shared everything except C didn't want to share me. Recently, C has been mean to me and pushing me away, because we are coming up on the anniversary of the longest time he has been anywhere in his short life. All of a sudden, he no longer had the corner on the Mommy commodities market. I kept reassuring him that D. was just for the weekend and that I AM C's mommy.

I really thought this was just a respite visit until D's worker said that he was looking a permanent home for D. as he was going to a new foster home across the street from us that was not looking to adopt him as he was not of their background. He told J. this only after J. said that D. was welcome to visit us anytime. We cannot go back on our word to C., but I feel bad that I am sending a child back into a system that allowed C to bounce for so long. Right now, D. is in the room next door to C at the day care. I am feeling so much sadness and guilt. I know I can't save the world and I need to concentrate on saving Cooper, but...

Guess How Much I Love You

    Years ago, before D and I were mommies, I went shopping in Flemington, and bought two stuffed animals.  Classic Pooh Bear was for D , who used to say she would decorate her nursery in Classic Pooh, not Disney Pooh, and a My First Peter Rabbit was for my nursery to be. She never did decorate it in Classic Pooh, but rather from the John Lennon Collection. The nursery to be was not to be for me.

    Until tonight, Peter Rabbit sat among a collection of stuffed toys that cover an antique student desk, complete with inkwell, outside my home office door. C has been here over seven months and I never thought to give him what had become a reminder of loss. I had always said he belonged to my son, when I had him. Always in the future, never in the past or present, my son was always in the future- a far off dream in a far off land atop the Faraway Tree of my childhood.

    Every night before tucking him in for the night, C and I read the same two books since his first night here, Guess How Much I  Love You and Good Night Moon. He has memorized them now and reads along with me. He won't fall asleep without them. He went to the zoo today with Daddy's summer camp and took too long a nap when they came home. At bedtime, he was jumping around the bedroom- " Like Nutbrown Hare!" when he should have been listening to his stories.  He had a time out on the bottom of the stairs leading up to my bedroom. When I told him that time out was over and it was time for bed  he said- "Who's that?" He was pointing at Peter. "Whose is it?"

" I guess its yours."

" For me."

" Yes, His name is Peter Rabbit, and he wants to sleep with you.'"

As I gently removed the tag from Peter's left ear, C gave me a big kiss on my right cheek.