When I first saw him, he had what looked like a pacifer dangling out of his mouth. It wasn't a pacifier. It was a mint sandwich cookie. His worker must have fed him an entire bag. He wasn't hyper. He just wanted to be snuggled until after dinner when everything, including the cookies, came back up for a second viewing. The worker said that we were only for the weekend and that would be that. So we told see that this was just a friend for him for the weekend.
He played well with C all weekend. They shared everything except C didn't want to share me. Recently, C has been mean to me and pushing me away, because we are coming up on the anniversary of the longest time he has been anywhere in his short life. All of a sudden, he no longer had the corner on the Mommy commodities market. I kept reassuring him that D. was just for the weekend and that I AM C's mommy.
I really thought this was just a respite visit until D's worker said that he was looking a permanent home for D. as he was going to a new foster home across the street from us that was not looking to adopt him as he was not of their background. He told J. this only after J. said that D. was welcome to visit us anytime. We cannot go back on our word to C., but I feel bad that I am sending a child back into a system that allowed C to bounce for so long. Right now, D. is in the room next door to C at the day care. I am feeling so much sadness and guilt. I know I can't save the world and I need to concentrate on saving Cooper, but...
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