Looking for a reason to believe

I received an email from a supervisor in CA concerning the boys. It said that they were sorry to tell me that they had just found out that they were no longer available for matching. I have emailed her back to thank her and the other person I was dealing with their for all their assistance.

I had started looking out of state because someone whom I will not name here from DYFS said that it could take months before I find a match in state because there are only NINE people in Trenton who do the evaluating to make matches for the ENTIRE state. The children of my heart could be around the corner, but I would never know it. They could be spending months in foster care unnecessarilly because of bureaucracy.

So we had decided to take matters in to our own hands and stretch our nets farther afield, only to let our hearts get broken again. We have had our hearts broken time and time again because we want children and can't seem to have any biologically.

When people try to tell me that I don't undertsand something because I am not a mother, I want to eviscerate them. I was at a bridal shower last Saturday and they sat me with Miss Perfect. She had heard from her mother that we were planning to adopt. She said, " You can have mine." I said, " When can I pick them up?" Insensitive biatch.

So if I seem biatchy, I have good reasons.